About Me

This is the big question! Without getting too bogged down in the infinite expanse of this question, here is a little about me, the person.

I am  48 year old male, married with 4 kids. I have a decent job, cant say I love it, could say I hate it. 

Son of an alcoholic father, a damaged mother and brother to fucked up siblings. Am I the only sane one of us all or am I more fucked up that the rest put together? Who knows, ask my wife, she has to deal with all the shit!

I constantly worry about money, never seem to get any better off, seem to get worse if anything.

I catastrophise about the future, dwell on the past, and I'm not great at the present either.

I would say I have depression but never been diagnosed, I read about something called Dysthymia which sounded like it was written about me so maybe I have that. Not looking for a tag or anything, just setting the scene. I was also diagnosed (if that is the term) with pretty significant Burnout.

I started meditating about 4 years ago and found Zen about 18 months ago. I love it, dont understand it but I know its working. 

I'm also in therapy for the last year or so, knew I had reached that point, one of the best things I have done.

Also gave up alcohol and crisps just before Covid kicked in. Dont miss it, really dont miss the hangovers. Not an alcoholic, I could have just drank red wine for breakfast. Beer and spirits, could have passed their expiry date sitting in my fridge. Maybe I was a very niche alcoholic!

I'm on a road to recovery, don't know exactly where I am on this road but I know its a long one.

Feel free to join me along the way.